Dancing with Cats Trilogy

Dancing with Cats: a trilogy

 

Statue of lion

1

Dancing with cats is not an easy

manoeuvre, when you consider

the disparity in height between cats

and humans. Even a Maine Coon or

Russian Blue is considerably

shorter than me, and I’m only one

Hundred and sixty centimetres

(five foot two) tall, or rather, short. Yet

I’d like to dance with a handsome Tom,

formal in black and white tuxedo.

Once on the dance floor with my partner,

what music would we hear? What dance would

We do? I fancy a tango. Could

he prefer a polka? A barn dance?

Maybe Tom is not a sophisticat-

ed feline after all. What about

that tall Russian with his long arty

hair and piercing blue eyes? He looks up

For it. A swing around the floor and

out the door to where his sleigh awaits.

Ah, but Missy Kitty is looking

my way. She’s dainty, and she’s pretty

pissed off. Looks like she needs attention,

bit of canoodling in slow waltz time?

Here’s Butch Cattidy, raffish ginger,

one eye half-closed, one ear bent; (she won

that fight). Now she bows sardonically

to me. Care for a spin round the floor?

Missy Kitty looks like spitting. I

Decline Butch’s offer. Safety first.

Now, what I’ve learned is: it’s not about

how tall your partner is or how good-

looking, or even how well they move,

that gives pleasure in life’s dance. Person-

ality, propinquity, affect-

ion count, but aren’t the whole deal. Love is.

So here’s a thought: perhaps cats prefer

dancing with each other, not people.

May be time for me to find someone

of the human, not the feline, kind.

 

2

Dancing with cats is not an easy manoeuvre,

considering the awkward disparity in height

between cats and humans. Even a Maine Coon

or a Russian Blue is considerably shorter

than me, and I’m only one

hundred-and-sixty centimetres (five foot two) tall.

 

Does it matter, you may ask, just how tall

your partner is in this hypothetical manoeuvre

since this dancing with cats scenario is one

in which you can set your fancied feline’s height

to suit your own, shorter

or taller—or yours to theirs—to swing with the Maine Coon.

 

Some prefer Persians or Siamese to the Maine Coon,

or Burmese, liking their cats vocal, bossy, thin and tall.

Being a human, and a woman built on the shorter

scale, I prefer not to have to daily manoeuvre

or negotiate with a cat taking advantage of their relative height,

to assume the role of the dominant one.

 

So, if I took the opportunity to dance with cats, which one

would deign to dance with me? The lordly Maine Coon,

bowing to me from his (or her) relative height?

I’m not fussed about gender, what matters is our ratio of tall

to short as we embark on this terpsichorean manoeuvre.

If they wanted to lead, should I be the shorter?

 

If, in fact, my partner was happy to be the one shorter,

would that cause me to become the one

to take the lead in this dangerous manoeuvre

Imagine me tangoing with a handsome Maine Coon

Has he shot up to six foot tall

or have I, Alice-like, shrunk to his height?

 

So, again, let us ask how important is height?

Does it matter a jot which one is the shorter,

since no-one at all has a say in how tall

they grow to be: neither humans nor cats, no-one,

Not even the tallest domestic feline, the giant Maine Coon.

My height, or lack of it, is a factor with which I daily manoeuvre.

 

It’s clear the issue of height in this balletic manoeuvre,

While best dealt with by choosing that tall Maine Coon,

still leaves unanswered the question: who’s the shorter one?

 

3

Dancing with cats is not an easy manoeuvre

When you consider the disparity in height

Between felines and humans.

Most cats are considerably shorter than me.

 

When you consider the disparity in height,

Say, of a Maine Coon and a Russian Blue,

Most cats are considerably shorter than me.

Dancing with cats is not an easy manoeuvre.

 

Say, of a Maine Coon and a Russian Blue:

The size difference between them and a Siamese.

Dancing with cats is not an easy manoeuvre,

But if you could, what dancing would you do?

 

The size difference between them and a Siamese

Is not to be dismissed when dancing cheek to paw.

But if you could, what dancing would you do?

What would they choose, and which of you would lead?

 

Not to be dismissed when dancing cheek to paw,

The likelihood of romance—of a furry fling, at least.

What would they choose, and which of you would lead?

It raises questions that might be best unanswered.

 

The likelihood of romance—of a furry fling, at least,

Could be considered as a hazard of the dance.

It raises questions that might be best unanswered,

Or, at the least, dismissed as supposition.

 

To be considered as a hazard of the dance,

(Seeming to add a frisson of feline thrill),

Or, at the least, dismissed as supposition:

Who took the lead, who followed in the dance?

 

Seeming to add a frisson of feline thrill,

(fur raised up, eyes richly glowing),

Who took the lead, who followed in the dance?

Cheek to paw with cats can be a risky manoeuvre.

 

Fur raised up, eyes richly glowing,

Feline and human locked in embrace.

Cheek to paw with cats can be a risky manoeuvre.

Forget, at your hazard, a cat is not human.

 

Feline and human locked in embrace

For just as long as the cat wants it so.

Forget, at your hazard, a cat is not human.

A hiss and a spit and it leaps off your lap.

 

For just as long as the cat wants it so

You can embrace them, pet them and coo.

A hiss and a spit and it leaps off your lap,

Disdaining the thought it might actually care.

 

You can embrace cats, pet them and coo;

They’ll take what they want and leave you for nought,

Disdaining the thought they might actually care.

Dancing with cats is not an easy manoeuvre.